There is no denying it, we seem to be squeezing more into our days than ever before.
Kid stuff, work, business building, family time, being a good neighbour, hosting parties, ferrying people to and from activities… oh my how the list goes on.
In fact, “busy” seems to have become a habit more than anything else.
Seriously, last time someone asked you how your day was, tell me your response wasn’t “busy”.
I know mine probably was. It rolls off the tongue without me even thinking about it.
We wear our busyness like a badge of honour.
We feel like we have to be busy, because…
If we’re not busy, are we even doing it right.
If we’re not busy, surely we don’t have enough clients
If we’re not busy, then we are lazy.
If we’re not busy, then surely we aren’t living life to the full (yolo, or Live your best life, or whatever the cool kids say now)
Because if we are busy, then surely we must be make the most of life…Right?
Wrong
Here’s the thing…
Busy doesn’t equal productive
Time spent doesn’t equal output
We cram these things in, but the time we spend on things doesn’t always mean we are being productive, that we are producing great stuff… or even that we are enjoying ourselves and our lives.
So if you are finding yourself constantly busy, and craving something a little bit slower and calmer, maybe it’s time to reassess.
Ask yourself:
Are these things that I need to do, or just things that I feel like I should do?
Really…. do you actually NEED to… or is it just an external (or internal) expectation, rather than an actual need.
Would anyone die if you didn’t?
Could anyone else do it instead of you? (Yes, they probably could… those other people in your house are capable of putting washing away, cooking dinner, or doing countless other things that you think you need to do)
Could it just be ignored, or forgotten completely?
Are these things actually useful to you, or is it just busy work?
We’ve all done it… and I know I’m a shocker for it.
I spend hours scrolling social media, under the guise of “networking” or “building my brand”, when there are tasks which are much more useful to me and my business, which I could be focusing on instead.
Are these things serving you in any way, or are they draining you?
This doesn’t mean that all of your time has to be “productive” or focused on your development.
A good netflix binge might be serving your need to rest and recuperation, and that is a good thing.
But make sure the tasks on your list are serving you in some way… even if you don’t want to be doing them, make sure they have a purpose.
And, of course, sometimes in life you’ll have to do the shitty things, the things you hate, and the things that drain you… the things that really don’t seem to serve you in any way.
In those times, look after yourself, and schedule time to recover.
Are you filling your time to avoid something else?
Let’s be honest here… are you scrolling social media to avoid something else? Are you listening to a lot of YouTube to avoid your thoughts? Are you filling your day with activities to avoid being at home with a certain family member?
These aren’t always easy questions to answer. It takes a lot of courage and honesty to admit when you are doing something simply to avoid something else.
I’ve been there. When my partner was serving 8 months in Afghanistan, I filled my time with so many activities. I was working, or at the gym, or socialising. But in reflection, I know that I was simply filling my hours to avoid missing him more, and feeling the loneliness at home.
The thing is, avoiding things doesn’t make them go away… especially feelings.
So go on, have some down time.
Be proud to say your day has been quiet, or relaxed, or that you had a nap.
Revel in telling someone that you read a book…. a fiction book!
Sit on the couch, with nothing else to do other than sitting.
Watch that trashy show (or a movie, or a doco, or whatever the hell you want)
And if you’re going to have a busy day, then make sure it’s a least busy on purpose.
Busy because you want it to be
Busy because you are doing things that you want to be doing
Or if nothing else, simply be aware… rather than letting it get busy just to please everyone else.