I love hearing about people who are keeping it real.
The ones who are juggling this crazy thing called life, and a family, all while growing their business, their way.
Because the truth is, it’s not all rainbows and unicorns all of the time.
But it is worth it in the end.
In the #RealLifeBiz interview series, I talk to some of my favourite people about how they do what they do.
And this week we are talking to the inspiring Ashleigh Rae.
So, what do you?
I fan the flames of women with a BIG message they need to broadcast to the world. Sometimes that means we unravel patriarchial conditionings, fraudy feelings, or hold space for women to be brave and dare to speak for the first time – and be heard. We collaborate together and build a podcast that reverberates around the planet that inspires, motivates, and changes the lives of its audience.
How Long Have You Been Doing It?
I’ve been in love with podcasts since I first heard one in 2014 that helped me cope with a particularly difficult time in my relationship and mental health – even though life was chaotic and everything was up in the air, I didn’t feel completely alone knowing I had this audio I could listen to any time.
My partner taught me how to edit audio years ago, but I really only stepped out to advertise myself as an editor and podcast host in 2018. I had the skill for years, but I was so petrified by all the “what ifs” that I couldn’t begin any earlier than I did without moving through those fears and unravelling layers and layers of fear and shame.
What Does Balance Look Like or Mean to You?
In 2013 I was diagnosed with a mental health condition, (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and experienced a mental health crisis. I couldn’t work, I could barely function and I was medicated up to my eyeballs. I had to completely STOP for a long time. My lifestyle had to change to accommodate this new, scary thing that I didn’t understand. I went from working full time and enjoying not being a share house for the first time to not being in control of my mind or body. Success for me for well over twelve months meant I got out of bed, ate something, took my medications and showered. Since then it’s been a gradual increase in capacity but always, the baseline for success is if I do those basic things: eat, sleep, drink water, shower – I’m winning. Having a mental health condition requires constant monitoring on my part, and I think my friend Jay Crisp Crow says it beautifully: when you have a disability, you have an in-built boundary that you can only work so many hours a week and you have to stick to it, or you’ll trigger a sick-spell.
So balance for me is a juggling act of the work I can do on a day to day basis without overstepping my capacity, versus the expectations I have for myself, versus the state of my wellbeing that day or week.
What does a normal week include?
This really depends on the season! In winter, I’m much more an indoors girl and I avoid going outside where possible – I really, really dislike being cold. So in winter there’s a lot of tea, hot chocolate, and coffee and blankets with movies, video games and sleep. I go into something of an energetic hibernation.
In summer, a normal week is full of outings and meetups – I walk almost every day even if it’s only 10 or 20 minutes. I read outside in the sunshine and work in my garden. What remains constant for me, is that I listen to a lot of podcasts – about 25-35 hours of content per week, and I’m always recording new interviews and episodes. Most of my time is spent editing and producing new episodes and when I’m done? I zone out with a video game, like Ratchet and Clank or Crash Bandicoot.
What’s the best thing about being your own boss?
I could not survive in a ‘normal’ workplace. My body doesn’t cope and my mind doesn’t work that way – believe me, I tried for years to fight this and it always ended in disaster!
So for me, the best bit about being my own boss is that I can tailor my days and weeks to exactly where my well-being is at. If my brain isn’t working, or I’ve had a flashback, I can take the time I need to re-calibrate and nurture myself without the pressure of being in an office space surrounded by colleagues. I can do what I need to do to look after me and while sometimes that means I barely work for a week or two, when I’m ready I’m fully present and able to work efficiently and get it done without pushing myself super hard. In the end, it balances out!
And what’s the worst?
I think it’s loneliness. Working from home means I’m often alone and while I don’t mind that most of the time I do miss regular social interaction with people who ‘get’ what I do. I miss the in-person connections that workplaces offer. In the early days of me trying to business, one of the big things for me was distractions – Netflix, video games, Candy Crush, YouTube rabbit holes – but I’ve become more disciplined over time. I had to learn to set boundaries with myself and take some of the things I learned from corporate life and apply them at home. For example, work things happen in the home office and nowhere else in the house and at the end of my work time, I leave the room and close the door behind me.
When times are good, how do you celebrate?
When I have a big win – a new client joins the program or we sign a new editing contract my partner and I usually indulge in a little feast together. We might go out to a restaurant, or splurge on a Gold Class ticket with all the trimmings! One thing I do is I go back to the goals I set myself at New Year’s and I check off the achievement against them – I don’t keep SMART goals for my new year resolutions, and they always seem to come true regardless!
When things are crappy, how do you handle it?
Physical movement is important to me. I have a tendency to dissociate easily when stressed or anxious so keeping myself grounded, in my body and present is key to moving through it quickly and (hopefully) as painlessly as possible. I go for a walk even if its late at night with my partner or I stretch out and do some yoga moves in the lounge room. Then I look at my emotions and what’s going on – and I have to be bluntly honest with myself (which isn’t always pretty). Often in the end I practice H’opopono to forgive myself, accept myself, release and move on.
It also usually involves a lot of verbal vomit to a friend, my voice memo app, or partner!
Whats the long term plan?
My goal is to smash the patriarchy in the space I know best – podcasting. I have the vision to see incredible people hosting podcasts that speak to tough topics and showcase how beautiful diversity can be and the stories that connect us in spite of our differences. I want to podcasts by the LGBTQIA+ community topping the iTunes charts, not Joe Rogan. I want to see Indigenous Australians smashing Jay Shetty with their own stories.
To me, communication is how we change lives, cultures, societies, and politics and in the digital age we can use the power of podcasting to do that – one true-crime podcast has already lead to fresh leads and an arrest in a cold case. We can build on this and do more and demand more.
So ultimately, my role is to help facilitate that change through my editing and production – we’ll keep growing and going until who knows when – I guess as long as there’s patriarchy to topple, culture to change, I’ll there doing my bit.
What’s one piece of advice you’d give to someone getting started in the business?
I’m going to cheat here and give several – because if you are just getting started, you need to hear this.
You will fail, and screw it up royally.
You will miss big opportunities and small ones.
Your messaging will be off.
There will be spelling mistakes.
You won’t be a millionaire in six weeks, even though they promised.
You’ll try a bazillion different strategies.
It will be difficult.
You will want to quit and almost delete your website and socials.
Remember your vision, the big reasons you got started in the first place.
Maybe its because like me, you can’t operate in a normal workplace and you need another way to make bank – extrapolate it. Work through what you’re scared of and BACK YOURSELF.
Nobody else on this planet is obliged to believe in you and your vision, so back yourself to the hilt, 10000000%
Notes from Sam:
The thing I love about Ashleigh is that she isn’t afraid to speak up. She’s found her passion and her voice, and now she’s ready to take a stand for it.
Also balancing life, business and a mental health condition is a hard slog – but she’s doing it her way and making it work for her.
Thank you Ashleigh, for being an inspiration.